I don’t wander around the Internet. Honestly, I don’t. I limit my computer usage to mostly work. Switch office PC on, open e-mail accounts (both Gmail and Outlook), open SPOT.ph, open social media networks (mostly for work), research (for work again). After that it’s just a matter of checking, updating, and having Alan Silvestri (and quite recently the London Philharmonic Orchestra) on loop.
On the rare occasion that I did wander, however, I found this:
Romy and Michele: The Beginning
What this is, I can’t even explain. I’ve always been against needless part 2s (especially when they’ve been downgraded to a TV movie), but like every compassionate human being out there, I try to keep an open mind. Romy and Michele’s prequel, however, is beyond comprehension. Starring Katherine Heigl as Romy White and Alex Breckenridge as Michele Weinberger, this was just a big WTF, with audiences mostly gaping as they watch–but only for the first 10 minutes of the film because that’s the most anyone can take.
It’s painfully idiotic. PAINFULLY. I cringed so much (and mind you, I only had it on audio) for a while I thought my face was going to be scrunched up permanently. While Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow’s ditzy, Valley girl interpretations gave “dumb blondes” some witty, sort of obvious charm, Heigl and Breckenridge’s attempts to copy the former two’s fun performances made them sound overly rehearsed, fake, and well, ridiculous. Heigl herself sounded like a bad female imitation of Ashton Kutcher’s already annoying Jesse Montgomery (Dude Where’s My Car).
We left the cinema after Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion only with an LSS of Cindy Lauper’s “Time After Time.” We didn’t question their motives to move to LA (I mean if you’re two larger-than-life girls with even larger hair to match, you should be in the big city!); we didn’t ponder over their experiences in high school (it was fully explained!); we weren’t kept hanging. While the prequel could have had some good moments, its reason for existence remains dubitable. Networks’ continuous production of lame, half-hearted sequels for profit is slowly but surely biting at the industry.
While Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion gave power and character to the “dumb blonde” characterization, its stupidly needless replication took everything back and more, leaving the stereotype as dull and empty as before.
Other crap sequels:
Legally Blondes (yes, there’s a third one), Mean Girls 2, Save the Last Dance 2, Cruel Intentions 3 (Amy Adams was brilliant in the second one so we’ll forgive it), Bring It On 4 and 5, Marley and Me 2, X-Men The Last Stand (and disappointingly so, especially after the masterpiece that is X2), Evan Almighty, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. The list goes on.