Anne Silva during one of our many car conversations told me something invaluable (sort of): “Guys like high maintenance girls.” It’s not something that could save the world but I didn’t forget it. She followed it with “They just say they don’t but they do.”
High-maintenance. Out of a hundred adjectives I can think about myself, this is one that would never come up. Most people think otherwise because of the amount of shoes and clothes I have in my closet. No. 1, technically I only own half that since my sister and I are required to share; No. 2, they’re CLOTHES, they cover my essential nakedness. They’re a necessity, third from breathing. I attribute the larger-than-life number to my fluctuating weight, plus the fact that my mother loves fashion (more than me and my three sisters combined).
I have none of those chain-y outfits and I don’t believe in trends. If I have them and I like the feel of them, fine but if they make me feel terrible, then… sorry, I’ll stick with my 90s t-shirts. And I’m not going to pretend I don’t like shopping. I LOVE IT. There’s something about spending that makes me feel like I still have power over moeny, not the other way around. I simply abhor anything expensive, though. Forgive me for not jumping at Givenchy or LV or whatever. Don’t even get me started on my disinterest in bags. This is a person who wore a yellow knapsack with a flowered, formal dress. Make-up makes my face itch and perfume makes me dizzy. I shamelessly guilt people with 30k+ bags, telling them that they a starving nation could’ve prospered with that amount. When someone gave my mom a Prada, which she handed over to me, I poked a hole through it with a pen I left capless. Yes, I can hear people cringing at this apparently sacrilegious act.
Sometimes I wish that I cared more. Sometimes I wish I’d wake up in the morning wanting to exert more effort in what I put on instead of thinking I could go out in the clothes I slept in. Sometimes I wish I knew how to apply more than just eyeliner (it took me a year to get this skill right). Sometimes I wish I had the patience to use a hairdryer and not leave the house with my hair wet. SOMETIMES.
I’ve tried this. I’ve tried dolling myself up simply because I’m sick of hearing comments on my couldn’t-care-less appearance…. and because there might be photos.I dress up during occasions that call for it, but apparently now, everyday calls for that.
Ninety percent of my fights with mama is due to the fact that I don’t want to put on what she set out for me or that I don’t want to put “a little shadow” on my face. Yes, I admit I need help when picking my clothes in the morning (you’ll notice when I do that on my own). Yes, I always get someone to help me with my make-up (hello Anne and Bea Cupin). Yes, I cannot go shopping without consulting my mother (or someone else I trust enough to have good taste) about what I plan to buy.
Except in sporadic moments, I don’t think I will ever be high maintenance. After all the trial-and-errors, I realized that I like waking up with only enough time to take a quick shower. I like not ogling at ridiculous prices. I like being able to run around, jump, and kick (I have ruined so many good shoes for this). I don’t like always poking myself with the mascara wand, but that’s something I’ll have to live with, I guess. I like being (insert kind of maintenance here)-maintenance.
I’m not sure if what Anne said is true. There’s certainly some truth there. Look around and you’ll see hot guys with girls in their same level of god. Case and Point? Ryan and Scarjo… Though I think hot girls can fall for guys a few notches lower, eg, Cyrano and Roxane, Archie and Veronica. Sutan, America’s Next Top Model make-up artist, said it best when he told one of the girls in Cycle 12: “If your boyfriend doesn’t like your new haircut, then you better get a new boyfriend.”
If you like yourself enough, that’s the key to others liking you too–with or without makeup.
By the way, Jason is fine. Hahaha. I like to think (and I know) he’s better than that. This post is due to so many “beauty-insecure” articles I’ve been reading a lot lately.