Google rules!

Today’s boring day led me to Googling practically anything that pops into my head. Anything can be totally famous like Reese Witherspoon or incredibly dumb like how to step on a cockroach properly just so you know it’s already dead. Surprise surprise, Google doesn’t disappoint. I even searched on tips to help cheer a boyfriend up and it gave me some pretty darn good ideas. It didn’t advise me on how to FIND time to execute my brilliant plans, though. Apparently that’s a separate search (different search phrases) all together. Oh Google, I would be so lost without you (unless of course, something better comes out).

Just now I typed “Weirdest Google search phrases” and well, a lot of people are certainly interested in the same things:

• 5,310,000 pages from people asking or answering: How to get pregnant.
• 69,400,000 people asking How to make money.
• 32,600,000: How to get over someone.
• 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me.
• 841,000: I have a large cat in my pants.
• 3,300,000: I have a large uterus.
• 256,000,000: I want to die.
• 112,000: I hate a lovely bunch of coconuts.
• 3,160,000: Why do I fart so much.
• 528,000: Why do indians smell.
• 63,500,000: Why do I sleep so much.
• 680,000: Why do I have green poop.
• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don’t call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.
• 11,000,000: Why women have affairs.
• 36,500,000: Why women lie.
• 94,200,000: Why Obama should be president.
• 19,100,000: Why Obama should not be president.
• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.
• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party.
• 818,000: I think im pregnant.
• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.
• Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for.
• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.
• 114,000,000: I want a wife.
• 783,000: I have one testicle.
• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.
• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.
• 320,000: I have three testicles.
• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.
• 610,000: I have four sides, all opposite sides are parallel, I have no right angles. What am I.
• 159,000,000: When to work.
• 126,000,000: When to say I love you.
• 2,730,000: Sleep is for sissies.
• 2,890,000: I smeel like poop.
• 1,510,000: What is a recession.
• 1,400,000: I have a hard time swallowing.
• 338,000: I have a big bag of crabs here.
• 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge.

By the way, if you Google “search” or “search engine,” Google doesn’t even come out. Talk about modesty!


I apologize for this ridiculous post (one in a series of many nonsensical entries I intend to publish). Today is turning out to be another unproductive one where I can only Facebook, YM, and blog so much in six straight hours . 😀 (I feel bad that I’m done with my week’s work two days ago. Now I’m stuck with nothing to do). 😦

2 responses to “Google rules!

  1. HAHAHAHA this made me laugh! I long for a day when I get to be this bored too :)) 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge was my favorite!

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